More memories of Max

I received a great email from Dave Henning, another friend of my cousin Max, who found my blog entry about Max's death. He's allowed me to share his comments here with you (I've slightly edited them from a couple of his emails to put a more complete picture on them):

Max and I had known each other since 2nd grade. He lived two doors around the corner from me. His parents moved and he then went to Webster Stanley before going to Lourdes. Once there, we quickly rekindled our friendship and kept in touch for many years. After my wedding, we drifted apart again and I'd not heard from him for going on 5 years.

Max had never been able to settle into what most folks would call a 'normal' life. He was always trying something new or different, trying to find himself and his path in life. He was one of the funniest, most creative dreamers of dreams I've ever met. Even with the distance of many years and miles, I will sadly miss him. I'm also sad that I will now have to wait until the afterlife to rekindle that friendship again.

I have lots of favorite memories of Max but a couple particularly stand out. One time, he was in trouble with Sister Miriam (the Vice Principal, aka Sr. Stoneface). She was going to call his parents and asked him his phone number. He replied 911-xxxx which she started to dial before she realized what it was. The Police called right back and she had a bit of explaining to do. Also, there were the many days he got to wear camouflage pants to school because the dress code only restricted 'denim jeans' and camouflage wasn't denim! Playing football, video games until the early dawn hours, and just being able to hang out and talk with someone who understands you.

I've also got a really great picture of him in Cub Scout uniform with his eyes closed. It was always one of my favorites (he generally hated it of course).

I like to think that in Heaven, we see others how we remember them at their best. I think that much more innocent time will be the way I remember him.

May he rest in peace,
Dave Henning

Dave, thanks for your wonderful words and thoughts! Here is the picture that Dave shared with me, which I believe was taken at our grandparents' house in Oshkosh oh those many years ago.

Max

I am happy to report that I was mistaken in the last time I had seen Max. In combing through my photos, I did see him in 2005, when we were up in Wisconsin for another Packers game. I still miss ya, Max!

Max

Max and I (December 10th, 2001)

Max Wenzel
8/14/1969 - 10/10/2007

One of my few first cousins (Max) committed suicide last night in Oregon. He had recently been diagnosed with systemic cancer, and just pulled away from everyone, visited his favorite places, some friends, made some type of arrangements to be cremated, left a note...and then took his life.

In my generation of my family (on my father's side), there were only five children total...my two sisters and I, my cousin Nick...and Max. My sisters were older than Max and didn't really have any real strong relationship with him, Nick is only 12 or so years old...but Max was about a year or so older than me, and he and I got along.

Max had difficulties finding his place in life. In particular, he was diagnosed only late in high school with dyslexia, he had a tendency to be somewhat anti-social. It wasn't easy for people to get close to Max. I think I did, however. I used to go up to Wisconsin in the summers when I was young and used to spend time with Max...we had a great time. I miss those days. Unfortunately, as we got older, we rarely spoke. The picture above is from the last time we saw each other.

While he had girlfriends over the years, he never got married and never had any children. He also never really seemed to find his 'true calling', but he did come to love the Oregon coastline.

Poor Max...and my poor aunt and uncle...

Max, I love ya, buddy...and I'm sorry that you felt this was the way that you needed to go...I hope you're finding the happiness and peace you wanted and needed. I'll miss you. We all will.